The Beznesser (bezness man)The main difference between a "Beznesser" and a "Papagallo" is the fact that he is not just into an amoreuse adventure for the holidays, and expects to spend some gainful hours or days, but he uses this only as the first step of his long-term project.
In Tunisia, a Beznesser is, in almost all cases, a tunisian man, and in many, but not all, cases, he has a low economic (precarious, poor) background or only a low value education or work training.
And even though there are also some tunisian womens who could be called a "Bezness", the situation is different here, because tunisian women who are actively looking for contacts to a westerner are in most cases considered to be simple prostitutes (in arabic countries there is a general agreement that arabic women shall and can only marry arabian men).
In recent times, Online-Bezness has increased. This type of Bezness will not start face to face in a foreign country, but meeting online in a forum, a social network or in a dating community. The only difference between Online Bezness and "normal" bezness is, though, how the first contact is being conducted.
The AMIGABut - to reach his goal, a "Beznesser" always needs a counterpart, and this counterpart is in almost all cases a western woman who suffers from the so-called "AMIGA syndrome".
The word "AMIGA" comes from the german sentence "Aber Meiner Ist Ganz Anders" (But my guy is totally different). In Latin, the word "amiga" means "girlfriend". Another term used is also is "wearing thick, pink shaded, glasses".
Despite the high probability that a woman runs into a "Bezness" man, which is, very conservatively estimated, about 90%, the woman keeps in almost all cases her eyes shut to the reality and takes refuge in the above-mentioned conviction that "The other men may be like that, but mine is certainly totally different".
Along with that the woman tries to whitewash doubts of others (and even her own) and/or ignores the actual situation (so-called selective perception) - things that are clearly noticed by third parties, like her family or friends.
The fact is, however, that many short term relationships and most of the medium ones will fail in the long term.
And this happens in most cases from reasons that come in addition to the ones, from which also marriages between couples from the same country are suffering.
Spotting Bezness - Signs of BeznessMany women ask "what are the signs of Bezness"? The simple, but most unsatisfying answer to this is:
There is no bulletproof method!
Because in Tunisia, the internet exists as well and the interested circles read webpages like this one, increasingly, or are even members in discussion forums about bezness.
And not to forget - there was and is always the so-called "beach academy" in which the most promising concepts and approaches are being discussed amongst the bezness men, the latest love SMS texts in different languages are exchanged and photos, letters and "Western Union" wire transfer receipts shown off. Each one learns fast from each other's mistakes.
The detection of "Bezness" is therefore increasingly difficult and in many cases even impossible, especially, if one disregards "common sense" and "the little voice in the head", if one is ignorant of habits and rules in Tunisia and if one does not speak the local language.
And even when, below, some typical signs are being described, this won't mean that eg. poor, or young, or childless women are safe from Bezness - because Bezness can and might happen to all women, no matter their age, income, attractiveness, marital status and with or without children!
The detection of bezness is becoming more and more difficult, is sometimes even impossible, if one ignores one's healthy mistrust, does not know about or follow tunisian conventions of society or does not understand the language.
Thus, while typical Bezness behaviour can be recognized as such, it is not so easy to tell it the other way around and one really cannot take the assumption, that, if one does not experience typical Bezness behaviour, then no Bezness is involved.
Meanwhile, the only real protection against Bezness is to make Bezness attempts impossible right from the start (see: Bezness Prevention).
However, as experience shows, victims start to inform themselves only after they have fallen prey already, and then it is, unfortunately, too late already for prevention.
Typical Signs of BeznessAbsolute typical signs of Bezness (success rate almost 100%) are:
- The words "I love you / want to marry you" after just a few hours or days.
Even when "love at first sight" exists, it is, in reality, very, very rare. And it is even more unlikely to happen for a man who meets every day new women, as it is the case for workers in the tourism industry.
Nobody would like to hear it, but the chances to win the national lottery are significantly higher than the chance of a tourist to meet the love of her/his life in Tunisia in the hotel, on the beach or on the streets.
- All requests for money and gifts
A serious Tunisian man will never ask his girlfriend or wife for money (or to pay something for him).
The Tunisian code of conduct (and the law) demands that a husband provides for his wife - no ifs and no buts!
If he can not do that, then he is not considered an acceptable candidate for marriage, and even more, he is not even a serious or honorable candidate at all, because a serious man will do what is humanly possible to him, to prove his ability to provide for his (future) wife.
In fact, no tunisian man would even dare to approach the parents of a woman for a marriage without the proposition for an appropriate marriage gift for his (future) wife - which almost always consists of genuine gold jewellry.
People from western countries often shun this off and say "it is normal for us to (sometimes) pay for a spouse" - and this is absolutely correct, it is normal in western countries. But it is not normal in Tunisia. Because, in Tunisia, the proof of being able to provide is how the "good" are told from the "bad", and it would be very wise for a western woman to seriously consider that if she intends to marry a person from that very country!
Situations that mind to highest caution are:
- Relations of men to women who are considerably older than themselves.
- Marriages with men who are more than 2-3 years younger than their wives, are theoretically possible, but are in reality not to be found and are socially regarded as negative.
Many women defend themselves by saying "I look young for my age" - but this is a self-illusion, because in reality, it has no relevance whatsoever. The lover would accept women of all ages for the price of a visa to a western country or for gifts and other advantages.
- Relations of men to women who already have children of another man.
Simply said: A Tunisian man only rarely accepts children of his wife with another man, because that affects his status in his society. And if he does, then only if such acceptance yields something "worthy" - for example, the prospect of a "ticket to the west".
In any case, a Tunisian man will want own children with his wife - because only then he will be considered to be a "real" man by his society and family and only then a happy life is being assumed. Even when very old men marry, they will almost always have children with their (young) wifes.
- Relationships with women who are clearly unattractive.
To say it quite frankly: Why should a Tunisian man fancy a woman that is not fancied by any man in her home country? In fact, if they were tunisian women, they would find no attention either.
But, and this makes the difference here, they are not Tunisian women, they are Westerners, and, for money and a visa, each and every woman (each and every!) turns from an ugly ducklin to a beautiful swan and becomes a princess in a man's eyes (respectively in his words) ...
How Bezness happens