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| Family Man Woman Child Begin of Relationships Wedding Marriage Prenuptial Agreement Influence of Religion
Life in the West Life in Tunisia Typical Problems Hints for Relationships Questions and Answers Checklist Typical Phrases Help and Service
| To
come into "contact" with a western tourist woman is easy - it is
sufficient,
to just talk to a tourist. The easiest way is, of course, to obtain a job in the tourist industry, especially in the animation or restauration area in an hotel. But even if such a position can not be obtained, the chances are quite good to attract the attention of a western woman on the street, in a shop, a taxi or a discotheque. Generally, they are 3 target groups:
In most cases, there will be immediate talks about marriage, in many (but by far not in all!) cases, they will be demands for money or donations - outspoken or expected. If the Beznesser got a "victim", which has only little or no money, then it is also not a real problem for him, because every day, new tourists arrive at the airport and meanwhile he enjoys the free sex with a "poor" victim. They won't let go of what they have obtained, of course, and so they will continue to "work" the relation, even if it is a parallel second-, third- or fourth relationship, because even when it does not yield a marriage and a visa, there lures still the prospect of sex and financial benefits of smaller nature - the payment of taxi fares and some disco visits, for example. And - who knows, maybe one need only to give it some more time and it will turn out well anyway. A typical characteristic of all such relationships is therefore, that they will never be abandoned or forgotten - even after months and sometimes years, they might decide to follow up on an "old" affair. But as long as a relationship is still "hot" and are fresh, there will be fireworks of telephone and SMS contacts. In such relationships, the ultimate winner will often be the victim that manages it the fastest to marry and to present a visa to a western country, and, ideally, pay all the celebrations and ticket costs as well. | It
is, as pointed out
before, unlikely, that a Bezness man confronts a woman immediately with
demands eg. for financial contributions - unless you meet someone who
is "new" to the business, or has several relations going and is just up
to exploite additional random "windfalls" as well. But sooner or later, there will be, in almost all cases, open or hidden (expected) demands. It usually starts with small things - talking about the own situation (no job, not well paid, etc.). Or they expect you to pay "small money" amounts (coffee, cigarettes, taxi) - and most Westerners will gladly do so, because, from their perspective, even paying for a visit to a discotheque or restaurant is quite inexpensive in Tunisia. The next stage will be requests for small favors, such as bringing chocolate or alcohol, passing small amounts of money for charging the mobile phone and then it increases later to clothes, MP3 players, mobile phones, and even computer laptops. Of course, demands for "help" are not always openly expressed, but are instead wrapped in reports of dramatic personal situations in the hope that the western woman comes forward by herself and offers help. Then they will then gladly accept the offered help, often after a while of grace (normally, I would never do it, but I have no choice right now) and often with the promise of repayment (which will never take place).
For an outsider, it seems that Tunisia is a country where every day all kinds of mishaps and disasters happen. And all of those can only be cured with money. A cell phone falls into the water and is unusable, the mother or the father or brother/sister suddenly need urgent medicine or medical treatment, police and city administration must be bribed, the employer demands reparation for a damaged part, things are stolen or lost, or a young man must free himself from tunisian military service, to name only the most common misadventures that seem to befall every Tunisian almost at weekly intervals. While it needs to be admitted that Tunisia IS indeed a strange country where items have the tendency to get lost or damaged from freak situations (which I actually witnessed myself on multiple occasions), still 99% of all such claims are false and just brought up to pull money. Some claims are even completely ridiculous, like "I have to pay more for my passport/identity card because I am unemployed", "tunisian men are not allowed to marry older non-tunisian women unless they pay a tax for that", etc. etc. The range of such claims and the ability to fabricate such ideas is amazingly big - basically, the only thing I have no heard yet is "King Kong stepped on my house and now I have to rebuild it", but I am sure I will hear it, eventually... |
In many situations, affection and relations will be exploited without mercy, starting with communication (I have no money to call you, if we want to talk, you have to call me) and personal situations (I was laid off, I have no more money for rent and for food), to familar matters (for the upcoming high holidays, we can not even buy a sheep that we have to slaughter). Not only is the western woman, who now "hangs on the fishing rod" already, tricked by challenging their pity - who does not want to talk to the boyfriend every few days, who will let him starve or spend a sad holiday - but also, the tourists profound non-knowledge of local habits and rules is being deliberately exploited. In Tunisia, there is, for example, nobody who doesn't have a roof over his head, or a, whatever little, daily meal (in all cases, a tunisian family member will always jump in to provide the basics) and there are no religious rule that compulse one for rich meals at holidays (it is only suggested for those who can afford it). Even the tunisian military, from which every male Tunisians wants to become exempt, is largely in line with military services in western countries. For example, with the exception of the first few weeks after service starts, contacts to the "outside" are allowed and leaves for home are granted. A "disappearance" for months is just a fairy tale, which is told to European women in order to make them pay for the exempt from the tunisian military. On the contrary - the military is a very good character-building time, which would certainly suit the majority of the Bezness men well.
The fact that a large number of objects and even the money, that a Beznesser receives, will not end up in his pockets, is another matter - one should not be surprised that t-shirts, brand name jeans, or a mobile phone will end up with his brother, sister or a friend, because many Tunisians have a different approach to personal belongings and evaluate them first by use and exchange value, not by personal memory. And, concerning money, it applies to many families, that anyone who just has some, will contribute it for common use. Things like "saving" or "personal use only" are widely unknown concepts in Tunisia. If, for example, you leave any money "just for the case of an emergency" when you are going away, then you will always find, that, regardless of the elapsed time and left money amount, during your absence, an emergency occurred and the money has been used up. | ||||||
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