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| Many
women ask "what
are the signs of Bezness"?
The simple, but most
unsatisfying answer to this is:
In Tunisia, they know the
internet as well and they
also read webpages like this one, or are even members in discussion
forums about bezness.
And not to forget - there
was and is always the
so-called "beach
academy"
in which the most promising concepts and approaches are being
discussed amongst the bezness men, the latest love
SMS texts in
different languages are
exchanged and photos, letters and "Western
Union" wire transfer receipts shown off.
The detection of "Bezness"
is therefore
increasingly difficult and in many cases even impossible, especially,
if one disregards "common sense" and "the little voice in the
head", if one is ignorant of habits and rules in Tunisia and if one
does not speak the local language.
Thus, while typical Bezness
behaviour can be
recognized as such, it is not so easy to tell the other way
around and one really cannot take the assumption, that, if one
does not
experience typical Bezness behaviour, then no Bezness was
involved.
Meanwhile, the only real protection
against Bezness is to make
Bezness attempts impossible right from the start.
However, as experience shows, victims start to inform themselves only
after they have fallen prey already, and then it is, unfortunately, too
late already. | Absolute
typical
signs of Bezness are:
- The
words
"I love you / want to marry you" after just a few
hours or days.
Even when
"love at first sight" exists, it is very, very rare.
And it is even more unlikely to happen for a man who meets
every day new women, as it is the case for workers in
the tourism industry. Nobody would like to hear it, but the chances to
win the national lottery are significantly higher than the chance of a
tourist to meet the love of her/his life in Tunisia in the hotel, on
the beach or on the streets.
- All requests
for money and gifts
A serious
Tunisian man will never
ask his girlfriend or wife for money (or to pay something for him).
The
Tunisian code of conduct (and the law) demands that a husband provides
for his wife - no ifs or
buts!
If he can
not do that, then he is not considered an acceptable
candidate for marriage, and even more, he is not even a serious or
honorable candidate at all, because
a serious man will do what is humanly possible to him, to prove his
ability to
provide for his (future) wife. In fact, no tunisian man can dare to
approach the parents of a woman for a marriage without the proposition
for an appropriate marriage gift for his (future) wife - which
almost always consists of genuine gold jewellry.
People from
western countries often shun this off and say "it is normal for us to
pay for a spouse" - and this is absolutely correct, it is normal in western countries,
but in Tunisia, the
proof of being able to provide is how the "good" are told from the
"bad", and it
would be very wise for a westerner to seriously
consider that if they intend to marry a person from
that very country!
| Situations
that mind to highest
caution are:
- Relations
of men to women who are considerably older than themselves
Marriages with men who are
more than 1-2 years younger than their wives, are theoretically
possible, but are in reality not to be found and are regarded as
socially negative.
- Relations
of men to women who already have children of another man.
Simply: A
Tunisian man does usually not accept children
of
his wife with
another
men, because that affects his status in society.
And if
he does, then only if such acceptance is something "worthy"
- for example, the prospect of a ticket to Europe.
In any case, a
Tunisian man will want own children with his wife -
because he will only then be considered to be a "real" man by his
society and family and only then a happy life is being assumed. Even
when very old men marry, they will almost always have children with
their (young) wifes.
- Relationships
with women who are clearly unattractive
To
put it quite openly: Why should a Tunisian man fancy a woman
that is not fancied by any man in her home country?
In fact, if they were tunisian
women, they would find no attention either.
But, and
this makes the difference
here, there are not Tunisians, they are
Westerners,
and, for money and a visa, each and every woman turns from an ugly
ducklin to a beautiful swan and becomes a princess in a
man's eyes (respectively in his words) ...
|
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